So I got myself a Kindle late last year, just before they announced the new ones (no keyboard? Piss off. Limited tablet functionality? No thanks. Colour screen and plays video? The best thing about the old one was the screen. Go away) and I absolutely love it. Being a bit of a fiddler with things like this, I finally got around to investigating the jailbreak possibilities this week, and while they are very limited, there is one rather nice thing you can do, which is install the “screensaver hack” and then have it display your own images, rather than just those default ones.

The images themselves – variously called “screensavers” and “wallpapers”, though they’re not really either – are 600px * 800px (unless you have a DX, in which case they’re… um… bigger) greyscale PNGs or JPGs, and a quick Google will reveal loads of them to you. You could do worse than check out this site, for instance.

Anyway, having done this, I decided to make a load of new ones featuring authors whose work I read, and now I’m sharing them with you in case you also have a jailbroked Kindle.

Featured are:

• Luke Rhinehart
• Iain M. Banks
• Hugh Laurie
• Ian Fleming
• Stephen King
• Stephen Fry
• Steig Larsson
• Aldous Huxley
• Douglas Adams
• Terry Pratchett
• Dave Gorman
• Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• Neil Gaiman
• Warren Ellis
• Philip K. Dick
• J.K. Rowling
• George Orwell
• Danny Wallace
• Len Deighton
• Clive Barker

Download the 5.8Mb zipfile here, then apply any or all of them to your device as you see fit.

DISCLAIMER: I have grabbed these images from various websites using Google, and have no copyright claim to any of them. If that sort of thing bothers you, then move along. This isn’t the royalty-free option you’re looking for.

–c.

NB: Applying the screensaver hack and supplying your own images precludes using the default supplied images that came on your device. If you would like to include those, you can obtain them here and then add them back into the rotation alongside your custom images.

I’m on Twitter, obviously, and that scratches a similar itch to the one blogging used to. Plus I’ve been doing this for 13 years now, since before the word “blog” existed, and I think it may just be time to hang up the WordPress. The band site has a blog and I’ll post crap on there every now and then, but I think this site is pretty much done.

Cheers for coming, turn the light out when you go.

–c.

(I’ve said this a few times before, so I’ll probably be back in a few months once something gets under my skin again…)

Anton Rodgers

1938:

Donald Knuth

1945:

Gunther von Hagens

and

Rod Stewart

1949:

Linda Lovelace

1953:

Pat Benetar

1955:

Michael Schenker

1964:

Brad Roberts (singer, Crash Test Dummies)

1974:

Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords)

and

Some Bloke

1978:

Brent Smith (singer, Shinedown)

1980:

Petri Lindoos (singer & guitarist, Ensiferum)

–c.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I have a horse outside.

–c.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I don’t like your tweed, sir.

–c.

As I mentioned back in April, I decided to fire O2 when my contract was up since they offered literally no incentive to stay with them despite having been a perfect loyal customer for 18 months. Oh, how I wish I could undo what I did.

When I got my first mobile phone in the late 90s, I went with Orange, and found them to be fine. I had literally no complaints, until I moved to London, where I suddenly found that approaching half the time I would be unable to make a call because their network was busy. So I chucked them and moved to T-Mobile, which had no such problems and also had the advantage of offering me half-price line rental since I had a mate who worked there and he put me on their Friends & Family scheme. This was nifty for a good few years, and the only gripe I ever had with T-Mobile was their laughable range of handsets. Whenever the adverts and magazines trumpeted a new phone or range of features, I knew I wouldn’t be seeing it any time soon since the range of phones available was always a good year behind that of the competitors. Still, no worries really. I had a Sony Ericsson walkman phone something-or-other that did the job and let me listen to music without a separate MP3 player, and that was all good.

Then the iPhone came along. Not being a bleeding-edge-early-adopter (read “credulous git with too much cash”) I did some waiting and seeing, and when the price came down and the handset got good (the 3G), I took the plunge – which at the time (Autumn 2008) meant switching to O2. This I did, and right up until April this year I had not one complaint about them or their service, but so piqued was I that my custom meant so little that I took proper umbrage and left, plumping for Vodafone instead.

Now, instead of getting a bit of a weak signal in the building where I work, I get zero signal pretty much all of the time. If by chance a call does come through, I have to quickly answer it and dash for one of the kitchens, where signal is mysteriously much better. The 3G coverage is laughable (I’ve heard people say this about O2 – trust me, you are in signal heaven compared to being on Vodafone), and I live in fucking London. We’re not talking about the bloody Shetland Isles here. Best of all, when using the maps feature as a route planner while driving (yes, using a cradle attached to the windscreen, not holding it in my hand) it routinely loses connection to the maps service and the Little Blue Line of Ultimate Hope – i.e. the line you must follow to get to your destination – just disappears while driving, usually in the middle of a series of complicated junctions.

I got married in June. Thanks, it was awesome. Previous to that I had my stag do in May. Two of the organisers of this splendid event were coming from overseas, including my best man. When I tried to call him THE DAY BEFORE THE STAG DAY, I was unable to do so, since there was an international calling bar on my new Voda phone. Moderately outraged, I called customer services and asked them WTF, and they said that it would be lifted once I had made three payments. So… no international calls for the first three months of my contract? And you didn’t bother to even fucking tell me this? A month or so later I had occasion to look up some actress or other on google images while I was out and about. I tapped a likely looking result, fully aware that the website I was about to arrive at was very likely what is referred to as NSFW, to arrive at a Vodafone webpage informing me that I wasn’t allowed to look at material of this nature. Vodafone had decided – by default – to shield me from not only the danger of speaking to foreigners but also of seeing ladies with no clothes on. Without telling me.

I have been with all four of the big UK networks now (I don’t really count Three) and never had any of these problems before. Really, none of them. Without a shadow of a doubt, Vodafone are the worst I have encountered. My wife says I should complain – but to what end? I’m under contract until October 2011. Yes, another 13 months of this bollocks. But I have signed a contract, and unless I can prove that they are failing to deliver their end of the bargain, I’m fucked. She says “But they’re not providing the service you signed on for,” and while I agree with her, how would I prove this?

Do any of you have advice or similar stories/experience? Do you know of any other ways out of my contract (I’ll happily give the phone back and go back to O2, cap in hand) other than paying the line rental for the next 13 months?

UK mobile networks in order of preference:

1. O2
2. T-Mobile
3. Orange
4. …dunno, maybe try Three
5. Carrier Pigeon
6. Two cans and a really long string
7. Don’t use one, just become a hermit
8. …
9. Vodafone

–c.

[14:14]  <earthman> my guitar teacher added me on facebook
[14:15]  <nick> you have a teacher?
[14:15]  <earthman> nick: I did when I was 15
[14:15]  <nick> I thought you just burst out of a granite cocoon, guitar in hand?
[14:15]  <earthman> LOLZ

–c.
PS. The guitar teacher in question is Mick Hutchinson, who is still awesome. He taught me for 18 months when I first started in December 1988, and without him I would not be the player I am now.

#050. Jack Johnson – In Between Dreams (2005) [spotify]

Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams

If you like acoustic-y singer-songwriter-y stuff, then odds are you like Jack Johnson. If you don’t, feel free to skip ahead to #49 where there is rawk and stuff. This is still one of the favoured “Sunny afternoon chillout” albums at Murray Mansions, and has been since it came out. It’s my belief (though I haven’t checked it) that Johnson was, like David Gray before him, churning away for ages before one particular major release catapulted him up the charts, at least in this country. Certainly it was this, his third release, that brought him to my attention, and it immediately became part of the soundtrack to Summer 2005 with classics like “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing”, “Better Together” and “Staple It Together”. Always puts a smile on the dial.

TOP TRACK: #7 “Staple It Together”.

#049. Forty Deuce – Nothing to Lose (2005) [spotify]

Forty Deuce - Nothing to Lose

Like many, I loves me some Richie Kotzen. I must confess though, that my favourite stuff is his early period – Fever Dream, Electric Joy, Mother Head’s Family Reunion. The whole thing where he took it down a notch and released (seemingly) about fifty albums that sound pretty much the same, is I’m sure artistically verifying for him and all that, but I can take it or leave it. Everything from 1996′s Wave of Emotion up to 2004′s Get Up just does very little for me, and that’s when I kind of stopped paying attention. (Note: 2009′s Peace Sign is excellent, btw.)

But in 2005 he released this album under the monicker Forty Deuce, and went some way back to his hard rock roots, and the result is superb. Proper hard rocking tunes, verging on heavy, and some frankly incandescent guitar work without ever really labouring the point. “Start It Up”, indeed.

TOP TRACK: #2 “Oh My God”.

#048. Underride – One of Us (2008)

Underride - One of Us

Historically, when you think of Seattle, you initially think of one band. That band is obviously Queensrÿche. (If you said Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or any of the early 90s grungers, go to the back of the class.) But it’s always been a musical melting pot – aside from the 90s grungesplosion, people like Hendrix, Nikki Sixx and Duff McKagan all cut their teeth in Jet City, as well as such nonrock luminaries as Sir Mix-A-Lot, Kenny G, and jazzer Bill Frisell. Scant surprise then when it turns out a top quality rawk band, which it has done with Underride. Not heard of them? I’m not surprised – I caught a mention of them on Sleaze Roxx one day, and took a punt on the album as it was payday, but good thing I did. This is some really energised no-nonsense rock music led by a fan-fucking-tastic singer. Get it if you can find it.

TOP TRACK: #6 “Upstart Coming Up”.

#047. Zero 7 – When It Falls (2004) [spotify]

Zero 7 - When It Falls

Some albums are amazing whenever and wherever you listen to them, but others suit a specific situation, and if there is a better “sunny Saturday afternoon, BBQ in the garden, friends round, couple of drinks, chilling out until sundown” album out there, I’ve yet to hear it.  Beezer.

TOP TRACK: #2 “Home”.

#046. Black Stone Cherry – Black Stone Cherry (2006) [spotify]

Black Stone Cherry - Black Stone Cherry

When I first heard these boys I knew they were going to be something special. This is their self-titled debut album, and it gets right down to business with the chuggy Zeppelin-esque riffage of “Rain Wizard”, and doesn’t let up from there. One thing that hits you immediately is the depth and character of singer/guitarist Chris Robertson’s voice. He sounds like he’s been out there rocking the free world for thirty years or more, but in truth he hasn’t even been alive that long. This band are young, but that doesn’t mean they’re green – the 13 songs on this album are expertly crafted blocks of Southern-fried rock standing somewhere between Black Label Society and Lynyrd Skynyrd in terms of heritage, and by the time the final cut “Rollin’ On” has faded away, you’ll know you’ve been Cherryed.

TOP TRACK: #5 “When the Weight Comes Down”.

#045. American Pearl – American Pearl (2000)

American Pearl - American Pearl

Can’t remember for the life of me how I came across this CD, though thinking about it it was more than likely one of those “customers who bought X also bought Y” thingers on Amazon. Never heard of before or since, Wikipedia offers scant information other than that the band was the brainchild of one Kevin Roentgen, who did some other stuff afterwards. Hmmm. Well, whatever, this is an ace hard rock record – well constructed rock songs, good riffs, tasteful guitar (no huge solos knocking holes in the songs) and nice raw production. Effective – recommended.

TOP TRACK: #2 “Automatic”.

#044. Wheatus – Wheatus (2000) [spotify]

Wheatus - Wheatus

Wheatus, the brainchild of Brendan B Brown, will have first come to the attention of most readers (if at all) with their monster hit single of 2000, “Teenage Dirtbag”, which as well as being a huge MTV smash was also on a hit movie (if the movie “Loser” was a hit, I don’t really know to be honest) soundtrack, and thus found its way into the ears of millions that Summer. My then girlfriend (now wife) quite liked it, and talked me into buying the album one day in Virgin on Oxford Street and it’s been a favourite ever since. Catchy and fun, and not afraid to offend on occasion, few albums in my collection can raise a smile as reliably as this one.

TOP TRACK: #8 “Love Is a Mutt from Hell”.

#043. Alter Bridge – One Day Remains (2004) [spotify]

Alter Bridge - One Day Remains

If you’re anything like me – and I know I am – then you loved the music that Creed were making, but just found the singer Scott Stapp a little bit irritating sometimes. It’s not that he’s a bad singer – he really isn’t, he’s pretty bloody good, but his style just grates with me a little bit sometimes, y’know? So wouldn’t it be cool if you could take the band and make them write stuff roughly 12% heavier, and replace the singer with someone even better? It would be, and the result is called Alter Bridge. Singer Myles Kennedy is so freaking good that it’s almost unfair to compare Stapp to him, inevitable though that is. Anyway, musically here you have Tremonti and co riffing away like their lives depend on it in a variety of dropped tunings and Kennedy wailing over it all like some dark angel of rock, and by god what a record. I shut up, you go listen.

TOP TRACK: #2 “One Day Remains”.

#042. Coldplay – Parachutes (2000) [spotify]

Coldplay - Parachutes

Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t want to hear it. Fashionable as it (still!) is to knock Coldplay and to sneer at Chris Martin, I have always liked their music. “But it’s just pop crap, it’s audio beige, it’s by-the-numbers cranked out faux-pop-rock bullshit” – yawn. Are you finished? Good. Hang on a minute, I think I have 20p somewhere, you can go phone someone who cares.

Now, I used to like Radiohead, but as mentioned before, I only liked them in their early days – Pablo Honey and The Bends, and OK Computer was for me where they started to go off the rails and I stopped being interested. The reason for this? I liked the style of music on those first two albums, and not so much on the latter ones. I admire Radiohead for being adventurous and changing styles, but I just happen not to like the styles they chose as they grew and changed – and this left a musical hole, which Coldplay filled nicely when they came along in 2000 with Parachutes. I think you have here a really well written and delivered pop album, and if you just forget about Chris Martin and his “we’re going to save the world through the use of wristbands” nonsense, you can really enjoy the songs and the instrumentation. Well produced, too.

I like it a lot, you may not. You are welcome to your opinion, and so am I.

TOP TRACK: #6 “Trouble”.

#041. Nickelback – Silver Side Up (2001) [spotify]

Nickelback - Silver Side Up

Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t want to hear it. Fashionable as it (still!) is to knock Nickelback and to sneer at their brand of corporate rock, I have always liked a lot of their music.

This was their breakthrough album, despite having two previous albums under their belts, kicked hugely into the public eye on the back of the ultra-success of the mega-single “How You Remind Me”. (By the way, if you’ve only ever heard that song on the radio, you should really hear the album version. It has guitars in it.) Now it’s true that since then, Chad’s cut most of his hair off so he appeals to more girlies, there are four ballads on every album, and three of them are the same songs with different-ish lyrics, and yes, they did that fucking “Rockstar” song. But this album is still excellent, and tracks like “Never Again” and “Too Bad” are undeniably rockmungous.

TOP TRACK: #4 “Too Bad”.

Anyway, today I noticed a really cool thing on The Awesomer – The Blank Wall Clock. A wall clock that has no numbers on it, but a writeable surface and it comes with a dry-wipe pen. Price? $155, or £97.

Fuck that right off, and come back when it’s £40. I might think about buying one then.

–c.

Are you married? Do you know how much preparation goes into a church wedding with full reception afterwards? It’s a lot. And following that there was the honeymoon, and now of course I am back at work and life is returning gradually to normal, and I suddenly don’t have to spend every waking second thinking about the wedding.

So I’m using it to work on music for my second album. Yes, that’s right, a second Clive Murray album is slowly forming in the 1s and 0s of my hard drive. I don’t know exactly when it will be complete, or exactly how I am going to go about turning it into a real object for people to enjoy, but it will definitely happen at some stage, so stay (loosely) tuned.

I am aware that I only got halfway through my countdown of my top 100 albums of 2000-2009, and this will be resumed shortly.

And finally, through a chance occurrence on Twitter, this afternoon I played Dave Gorman at table-tennis. I won 21-17, and he is a thoroughly nice chap, as you might expect if you know his work or listen to his radio show. Thanks for that Dave, if you fancy a rematch at darts, I’m happy to accept that challenge, though I appreciate you’re busy and I won’t hold my breath.

Cheers all, and thanks for waiting,
–c.