clivemurray.com

Right, that’s it, I officially resign from the human race. Stop the world, I don’t have a ticket.

Anywhere that allows a headline like this to exist is somewhere I need to get away from ASAFP.

I mean, they’re all normal English words, but in that order I can get nothing from them.

Someone wake me up.
–c.

Via Warren Ellis:

NB: contains um… well… virtual sex, I suppose. But then, there’s not much in Second Life that doesn’t.

–c.

World’s tallest man saves dolphin.

“The world’s tallest man has saved two dolphins by using his long arms to reach into their stomachs and pull out dangerous plastic shards.”

You what?

I think this is a fantastic thing to have happened, but I just want to know who it was and what they had been smoking to be standing there going “Hmmm, we need to get this plastic out of the dolphins’ stomachs. Some kind of emetic? No, that’s dangerous. Long forceps? No wait! I’ve got it! We need the world’s tallest man!”

Give that person a medal and a week off.
–c.

Russian ex-spies are being poisoned. There is a serial killer on the loose who has killed as many women in 6 weeks as the Yorkshire Ripper did in 6 years. There was a tornado in London last week.

WTF, mate?

–c.

Wow. Ferroelectric ice!

–c.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Oh my fucking god.

Oh god.

SNAKE!

IN THE FUCKING TOILET!

–c.

This is still, as far as I know, officially a Christian country. Not a Muslim one, a Christian one. Y’know… Church of England?

I’m neither – I don’t particularly care either way. I tolerate almost everyone. But why does the phrase “when in Rome” apply when Christians/whoever visit/move to Muslim countries (“Oh you must cover that up, people will get very offended otherwise…”), but not the other way around?

Just wondering.

–c.

What?
What???
WHAT???
WTFF?????

I’m with Warren. Can I have my spaceship now, please, so I can get the FUCK off this diseased planet.

–c.
(All links ganked from Warren. Blame him for making your morning miserable, not me.)