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Category Archives: Idiots

Epilepsy or nausea?

“A segment of animated footage promoting the 2012 Olympics has been removed from the organisers’ website after fears it could trigger epileptic seizures.”
So says the BBC news site.
Are they sure this is people having actual seizures, or could it just be people seeing the logo and reacting in the proper way, i.e. to throw your [...]

“It looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blow job”

That’s the third most common reaction I’ve heard to the new London 2012 Olympics logo. The second most common has been “What the fuck is that?”, while the commonest reaction has been simply to reach for the nearest heavy object and smash the monitor (in case of emergency) to avoid seeing the fucking atrocity any [...]

Note to everyone

If you are going to leave your mobile phone on your desk, put the fucker on silent.
If you are not going to put your phone on silent, then take it fucking with you.
It really is that simple.
–c.

“Get off the GODDAMN PHONE”

…is something you will hear me shout many times. Or at least you would, if you walked beside me everywhere I go.
Talking on the phone while driving appears, in parts of east London, to be compulsory rather than illegal. And I never miss an opportunity to bawl the above phrase at the car in question [...]

Oh yes…

…I forgot to mention.
Dear Americans (and others, but in this case I’m specifically talking to you, you bunch of xenophobic knuckledragging COCKWIPES),
If you’re a Scientologist, you are also a FUCKING MORON.
Thank you.
–c, awaiting extradition.

[title removed for legal reasons]

Obviously, inciting hatred towards another is wrong, and illegal, regardless of the reason. Suggesting that someone be hurt or killed in as distressing a way as possible on your blog would be a very definite no-no, and is certainly not what goes on here at clivemurray.com.
For this reason, I present absolutely no comment of a [...]

It really isn’t news, you know

Harry says it best:
“To cut a dull story short, a TV company put some stupid people in a house to make a stupid TV show, then everyone complains when they do something stupid. It happens every year.”
The only thing that varies from year to year is the degree of stupidity of the participants. This year [...]

Poor old Sam Preston

Oh dear, he’s not happy at all, is he? No no no. Apparently he had to hold himself back from getting up and hitting Simon Amstell on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, but instead he did the decent thing and left.
This, from today’s Sun:
“Obviously I didn’t want to resort to those sorts of things, so I [...]