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A while ago I decided that the Jet Set Willy theme tune would make a cool iPhone ringtone.

This weekend I made it. Download it if you like.

–c.

I have an iPhone.

Firstly, let’s get the obvious crap out of the way:

• I like my iPhone
• I know that other smartphones do various things the iPhone doesn’t
• I don’t care if your Blackberry, Android, or whatever has better camera/speed/apps/whatever than the iPhone
• I don’t evangelise my choice of phone to other people, please afford me the same courtesy
• No, really

OK? Still here? Then let us continue.

I’ve had my iPhone 3G (8GB) for just over 17 months now, and my contract is an 18-month one, so O2 have been urging me to upgrade to the shiny new iPhone 3GS, which is something I want to do*, so I popped into the local O2 store to talk turkey, and more relevantly, money – specifically focussing on contract lengths and handset costs.

I got my iPhone on an 18 month contract at £35/mo, and the handset cost me £99 at the time. Total money handed to O2: £729. Not inconsiderable, n’est ce pas? Now, if I was just any old Joe off the street wanting an iPhone 3GS (16GB, for that is the smallest size of the new model), and wanted to keep the monthly cost down around £40, these would be my options:

• 18 months @ £35/mo, handset cost £149. Total: £779
• 18 months @ £40/mo, handset cost £89. Total: £809

Those are basically the two plans I would be interested in. They both come with the standard O2 unlimited mobile data, unlimited texts, and enough minutes for me not to have to worry about it (the £30/mo plan only has 100mins whereas these two have 300 and 600 respectively).

OK, so either of those sound about doable. But! Hey, those prices are for any old bloke who wants a new iPhone – what about me? I’ve been a loyal customer for the last 17 months, never missed a payment, never caused O2 any trouble except for the minor inconvenience of having to count the money I hand over to them on a monthly basis. Surely they’ll waive the handset fee? Surely. I’d even go to the £40/mo plan, which would mean I’m still worth £720 to them over the next 18 months – it’s not like I’m asking for the moon here. I’m asking for an £89 handset charge to be knocked off in recognition of the fact that I’ve already handed over £700+ without so much as a quibble.

Nope. Not a bit of it. They don’t want to know. It’s full bloody price, or don’t bother. Been with us a year-and-a-half have you sir? Well that’s nice, but it doesn’t count for squat. Excuse me sir, there are clamouring hordes of customers behind you all queuing up to pay full price. Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.**

Screw them. Orange’s prices are almost identical, and they have far better data coverage***.

O2 – you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

–c.

* Please, honestly, leave it. Any comments along the lines of “You should get an HTC! They piss all over the iPhone you stupid fanboy!” will be left here for all to see just how boring you really are.
** No, of course he didn’t actually say that, but that was the inference.
*** Yes they cap 3G usage, but 750MB/mo is included and I’ve never been anywhere near that.

This exchange happened this morning on the #ukmg IRC channel:

[10:32] <earthman> I love my mondeo
[10:32] <earthman> mind you, it’s the V6
[10:32] <nick> you have a car?
[10:32] <earthman> aye
[10:32] <nick> I thought you went everywhere in a huge black chariot, pulled by dragons?

I wish!
–c.

Halfway, you say? Might get to number 1 by June then!

#060. Foo Fighters – In Your Honor (2005) [spotify]

Foo Fighters - In Your Honor

Who ordered Grohl? Honestly, there’s loads of it to go around. Practically drowning in Grohl, we are. Grohl, anyone? Go on, it’s tasty!

One of the hardest working men in rock, the guy who used to be “the drummer in Nirvana” has certainly stepped out from under that massive shadow. His ties to acts like Tenacious D, Queens of the Stone Age and recent supergroup Them Crooked Vultures aside, just the work he’s put into Foo Fighters alone speaks volumes. This album is a bit of a departure from previous in that it’s a game of two halves – one disc of 10 rock tracks and one disc of 10 mellower acoustic tracks, but unlike the somewhat patchy predecessor One By One, they got it right here. It’s literally all good.

Fact Box: Dave likes his coffee fresh. For reals.

TOP TRACK: #3 “Best of You”.

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