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have been greatly exaggerated.

Firstly, thanks to everyone who has sent messages wishing well. I am OK, and alive, and I thank my boss and true great friend Mathias for getting me to hospital and generally looking after me.

As for what happened, I shall explain briefly. I have been under quite a lot of stress at work recently, and this has been leading to my old panic/anxiety problems resurfacing. I went to the doctor this Tuesday morning, and was prescribed beta-blockers (propranolol, to be precise) to help me manage the anxiety. All seemed well, and I felt much better. Then this Thursday I was out of work at a conference, and enjoying it mightily. There were problems back at the office though, and this resulted in myself and a colleague having to leave the conference and go back to work. Through one thing and another I got very stressed and angry about various things during this time, but in the end managed (I thought) to fix the problems.

I later discovered that this was not the case, and resolved to look into fixing these when I got home. In the meantime we had rejoined our other conference-going fellows for the wind-down afterparty, which was pretty dull, so we went for dinner. We had a few bottles of wine between a few people – nothing outrageous, I certainly wasn’t drunk – and that’s the last thing I remember. The next was waking up in hospital with a very tired and concerned looking Mathias across from me, and suddenly being terrified as I had no idea how I’d got there.

After bidding goodbye to two of our party of four, I had apparently collapsed. Mathias told me later that this happened 5 times, but that he had managed to get me to the nearest A&E department on foot.

Anyway, we think it was a combination of the beta-blockers, the stress and the wine causing my blood pressure to plummet. Needless to say I spent yesterday recuperating on the sofa. God bless the Nintendo DS and Doctor Who.

I am OK now. Today I feel fine, and tomorrow I leave for a week’s camping holiday, which should help me to properly relax and get myself together. The greater question that needs to be thought about is if I react this badly to this much stress, was a career in advertising the smartest move? We will have to see about that. One thing is for sure – no job, regardless of how much I love it or excel at it, is worth compromising my health for.

I will have plenty of time over the next week to think about this. Mathias, I know you read this, don’t panic. You won’t be getting my resignation on Monday week. I just have to take time to think about the bigger picture, that’s all.

Thanks again everyone. Peace.
–c.

Conference time.

Originally uploaded by Clive Murray.

Conference time.

I have finished another tune. Yes, I have. The last one was in January, and the last one before that was a few years back, so I’m accelerating. Fancy that.

This one was originally concepted a bit by me and my spirit-brother Mr Ian Farrer at least 6 years ago, and some of the melodies we came up with that fateful night survive to this day – though I have re-recorded them since then.

Anyway. Enough waffle. I give you:

“Wish I Was There” [mp3, 192Kbps, 3m54s, 5.4Mb]

Title obviously inspired by The Floyd, main chord pattern in A Lydian cycling into B Mixolydian for the choruses. But you knew that.

Guitars used: Ibanez Jem 777BBQ for the clean stuff, Blackmachine B2 for the lead harmony death parts at the end. Thanks again to Andy Dempster for loan of the Coral Sitar.

Please to enjoy,
–c.

SPOOOOOOOOOOOORT!!! SPORT!!!

Sport sport sport sport sport sport sport fucking sports sport in my ass SPORTS football rooney SPORRRRTTS.

SSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPOOOOOORRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

SPORT!!! WOW!

–c.
PS. Oh, and the Middle East is still fucked. And some people died.

Today’s GWF award (that will probably only mean anything to men around my age who used to read Loaded) goes to the sixth year of Banchory Academy in Aberdeenshire, who managed to get themselves sent home collectively on their last day of term for turfing their common room.

Personally I think this shows more use of initiative and “Get Things Done” skills than any other prank I’ve heard of, and can safely say that the sheer nous used to pull this off will serve those responsible better in time than any amount of algebra or art history.

I’d have given them a prize, myself.

–c.

I had a chair.

It was a huge great black reclining job from Ikea, the Valhalla of household goods, and for a couple of years I loved it. I say reclining, it just had an extendable footrest that lifted up when you yanked the lever, a but like Joey and Chandler’s chairs in Friends.

But then I started to tire of the chair. The seat itself was a bucket style thing, and that just didn’t lend itself to eating dinner or sitting properly, so while it was great to recline in for an hour or two, it got uncomfortable after a while.

Recently I obtained a 2-seater sofa to replace the chair, and moved it into the bathroom until we could figure out what to do with it. It was going to go on eBay but we just didn’t get round to it, and this weekend – having suddenly been blessed with a load of free time in which to Get Things Done – I was threatening to take it to the tip. But my fiancée put an ad up on Gumtree and one on Craigslist saying that anyone who would come and get it could have it for free. It’s a big unwieldy thing too, so they would need a van or some such.

The next morning there were several replies, and a young chap with a Germanic or possibly Scandinavian accent said he would come round and take it, as he just moved into a new place and had literally no furniture. He turned up with his blue camper van, and liked the look of the chair, and we got it into his van easily, and he seemed very pleased with it. (I just hope he got it into his place OK.) At this point we had an idea regarding something else that I was needing to get rid of and couldn’t quite be bothered to eBay.

“Say, I don’t suppose by any chance you’d like an original Playstation? The PSX one? It has a few games with it…”

The look of unexpected joy on his face as he climbed back into his van carrying his new (well, quite old, but you get my meaning) Playstation was the highlight of my weekend.

What was yours?
–c.

I feel this guy’s pain:

I’m deeply mebelimebelideeply fucking average at GH3, let me tell you.

–c.