…is something you will hear me shout many times. Or at least you would, if you walked beside me everywhere I go.
Talking on the phone while driving appears, in parts of east London, to be compulsory rather than illegal. And I never miss an opportunity to bawl the above phrase at the car in question if the fucker has a window open. So I’m overjoyed to read that as of next week drivers flouting this law will face stiffer penalties.
The other one that gets me is failing to use your indicators. I realise that this one is a bit more specific to me, because of a specific road that I cross twice a day. Just outside South Woodford tube station, on the south side, there is a viaduct out of which drivers pass at a fairly regular rate. These drivers all turn left, because they are turning onto Mulberry Way, which is a one-way street, but many of them then take the next right, down Daisy Road, and down onto the A113.
99% of these drivers, in my experience, indicate to turn left out of the viaduct. However only about 50% of them switch their indicator to right in order to proceed into Daisy Road. Why? Just because it’s almost opposite the viaduct, you’re still turning, and you still need to communicate this to pedestrians and other road users, you fucks.
If I’m standing there waiting to cross Daisy Road, I watch the cars coming and focus on the right-hand indicator. If it’s not flashing, I step out. On occasion, I’ve been beeped by cockwits coming down Daisy Road who simply didn’t bother to indicate, and this is the second instance of Divine Vocal Justice Dispensation that I practice. In this situation I turn and bellow “Indicator broken, is it arsehole?”
They’re arseholes and they have to be told.
And no, by the way, I never ever use my mobile while driving.
–c.
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As my wife used to say: “INDICATORS! Four orange things on the corners of your fucking car!”
I had a worse one than that. I was crossing a zebra crossing at Aldgate, where the’s also a bus lane. the Green Man lit up, so I proceeded to cross the main road, then a car came tearing down the ajoining bus lane and had the cheek to beep me out of the way with his hooter. I had to jump back in the main road for him to drive past. I had the bleeding right of way and he shouldn’t have been in teh bus lane. I felt like risking my life and carried on crossing just to make a point.
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